Living & Thriving in the Unknown
Throughout the last two months, I have thought a lot about what I want to share as updates in my story. I’ve decided to stop thinking so much and share my truth in hopes it may help ease someone else’s pain, and in desire to educate about a disease that affects so many. I know that I am the person someone else may need to see, as I continuously look for people walking my path to inspire me. Brené Brown is also a constant voice in my head reminding me that vulnerability is power. It is freedom from suffering alone.
In early March, after weeks of testing, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer that has recurred on my spine and pelvis. Currently, stage IV breast cancer is considered incurable. Challenge accepted.
I started experiencing headaches in January and after they persisted for a few weeks, I went for a scan. The headaches disappeared once I went for that first scan, and my brain came back clear. Luckily, a small part of my neck was caught on one of the pictures that showed a lesion on my cervical spine. It is not lost on me that the headaches were a gift, and that the radiologist who pushed my oncologist for further testing likely saved my life.
There is a lot of confusion and curiosity around this new diagnosis. I am the “picture of health”. I am someone who regularly eats things like wheatgrass and who exercises religiously. When I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer in 2018, I did everything required of me to live a cancer-free life. How could this have happened?
I knew the statistics of early-stage breast cancer recurring as stage IV (1 in 3 people diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer will eventually recur as metastatic) but I truly never considered it would happen to me. I am now living my biggest fear, and I am learning daily how to quiet the terror and replace it with courage. I choose to move forward grounded in faith. Some days this is an impossible feat, but I will never stop trying.
While I am still searching for my way during this continuous dance of unknown, here is what I know:
This is really hard, but I can do hard things.
This can keep knocking me down, but it cannot knock me out.
I don’t know what lies ahead, but I will find joy anyway.
I can and I will.
For anyone interested in supporting research and funding for Stage IV breast cancer, METAvivor is the only organization in the U.S. that exclusively funds MBC research.
xo
Shea