So this is the new year…
…and I don’t feel any different. These song lyrics by Death Cab for Cutie used to really hit me each new year as I inevitably felt disappointed that the magic of the holiday did not catapult me into the life of my dreams. This is what I felt I had been promised once the clock hit midnight, and this empty promise often brought on waves of melancholy as I realized all appeared the same as yesterday.
I have come to realize Winter is not a time for resolution. It is a time for rest and retreat. Trying to begin a new during a time when nature quiets and slows down is quite literally going against the natural order of things. It is a time to turn inward and listen to what you actually need instead of forcing unnecessary change. This concept is not revolutionary, but it goes against our “new year, new you” conditioning. Why do we need a “new you”? What was wrong with the you from yesterday? Maybe the real resolution is to break free from the notion that you are not good enough, and instead to turn inward and honor what you really need this season.
I am a strong advocate for consistency in order to achieve growth and change. When a new year hits, I do not commit to a resolution that likely will not help me achieve my desired growth. Instead, I stay consistent throughout the year. I look for ways I can be consistent in my daily life by honoring what makes me feel good and brings me closer to my goals. Extreme all or nothing endeavors often lead to failure and disappointment in ourselves. I find these kind of ventures dangerous for our psyche and that they rarely present the picture we painted in our heads. What if we instead vowed to stay consistent, to commit to a life built on steady behaviors throughout the year?
In order to actually achieve meaningful change, we need rest. We need retreat. We need time to look inward. Self-love and self-care are often the true leaders of resolution. By building the foundation for consistency, we will be ready for resolution and rebirth once the ground thaws and the greenery starts popping through.
What if this year, we did not fall into the trap of believing change is always necessary? Instead, we believe we are already enough. We give ourselves permission to be still. We vow to be kind to ourselves. Those commitments would truly be revolutionary.