Anxiety Toolbox
Anxiety is increasingly in the forefront of many of our lives, particularly after the trials this year has presented globally, but it is still not being given the attention it needs. A year and a half ago I began my difficult dance with anxiety as it began to leave me fetal on the floor almost daily, my brain a mix of cobwebs and worry. I was approaching my much desired “finish line” after a year of grueling cancer treatment, and instead of feeling elated at the prospect, my mental and emotional health were quickly spiraling out of my control. I was consumed by fear, paralyzed by the worry I was going to die from cancer despite being given the all clear that I was in remission. This reaction was so strange to me, but the more I speak to cancer survivors, the more I learn this response is textbook and needs to be normalized. When I noticed my mental health was starting to affect my relationship with my husband, I decided to take back control and attempt to figure out how to manage what was currently eating me alive. It took almost a year of solid work, and I still do have the occasional fetal position on the floor moment, but I am now able to manage anxiety so it does not railroad my day. One of the most important things I learned about anxiety is that it is not possible to be “cured,” rather it requires a daily dedication to management. Below is my go to toolbox which has changed my life, and I hope something on this list can work for you too.
Gratitude List: One of the ways I start my day is by writing 3-5 things I am grateful for. This shifts my mind to focus on the good, and what is working in my life, and makes the unknowns less powerful.
Exercise: Move your body. Every. Damn. Day. Even if it's for a ten minute walk around your neighborhood. Get moving or you will stay stuck.
Meditation: When I began meditating for real (I had tried off and on for years but always got frustrated and made an excuse to stop), I committed to three minutes a day. I knew I could sit still for three minutes without ripping my hair out. Now, I do 10-20 minutes a day, and I actually look forward to it. I learned it’s not about quieting your mind, but being in silence with yourself without interruption. I usually do a guided meditation (my favorite app is Calm), or I repeat a phrase or mantra to keep my mind from wandering too much. When it does wander, I will say the words “thinking” to stop the thought. Meditation simply takes practice like everything else in your life. You will not master it in a day. Be kind to yourself.
Writing: When you’re really stuck in your head, write it down. This helps to work through what’s currently going on, and for you to see it more clearly, and often with a different perspective. When I am stuck in fear, I often write down what I am afraid of without holding back, and then I rip it up. This simple exercise brings me back into control. I also write down affirmations and manifestations for my life. One of my favorites to write every day is: “I easily manifest all that I desire”.
Therapy: Therapy is essential in helping you zoom out on your life and your perceptions. It can help you process your grief and trauma so that you can move forward. A therapist that fits your communication style and needs may take a few tries, so stay open minded and be persistent until you find the right fit.
Medication: After trying to manage my anxiety for months on my own, it was clear I needed more help. After a few months of taking medication, I noticed I no longer felt like I was drowning in deep waters without anything to tether to. I could see much clearer. The anxiety was no longer blinding me from reality.
Dance Party: Put your favorite song on and dance like an idiot. This has never failed to get me out of my own way.