Why Surrogacy is the Bravest Choice We Ever Made.

Surrogacy has been making headlines during the past several weeks after the Pope called for a universal ban, tagging surrogacy as deplorable and immoral. 

The Pope's stance, rooted in my Catholic upbringing, triggered an unexpected wave of shame. Yet, amidst the noise, my story, and those like mine, remain unheard. 

After a lot of reflection, here is where I have landed:

Choosing to have a surrogate carry our child is the bravest decision we have ever made. 

The past several years have brought a constant reality of people around us growing their families. Sometimes, this can still bring me to my knees. Yet, I push on, steadfast that even though the conception of our dream (pun intended) is different, it is just as real, just as valid, and just as deserving.

There is often a public perception that this is an easy choice and even a way to exclude yourself from “doing the hard work”.  For us, this decision has added more adversity to our life, and most days it feels like trudging through mud, wondering if we will ever get to the other side. Many days I have wanted to quit. 

Choosing to create a family, despite every card stacked against you, is brave. Connecting with someone who is willing to do this for you is selfless, on both sides. I am choosing to be a healthy mom and wife over my ego.

Admitting you cannot safely do something you desperately want to do, while still committing to finding a way, takes a deep knowing and a tremendous amount of courage. 

Asking for help at this level requires immense humility. 

Accepting your story to be what it is and making the conscious decision to make lemonade anyway, well, that’s just the most badass thing of all.